My Own Car @ My 20

I am currently working as a Receptionist at local resort with a very average pay cheque. Every month, I noticed that my money is not showing enough of where and what I do spend it for. It just happened that I ended up using all of them, but I have actually nothing to say that I have had the money and I spent it all - if you know what I mean. I have my savings, but that is for the future or emergency. I really felt that I needed to do something with my money. I kept thinking about it for a very long time. It went on for months.

Last Eid, I was back at home together with my siblings - for the fact that it is the first eid we spend without both our parents who died a year before. All of us always have these strong relationship attached to each other, that we really take care one another. So I asked my brother of what if I buy my own car as i need to have something that shows where my money is spent every single month. He was positive towards the idea and when I was back at work, well perhaps few days after seeing my family back at my hometown, I asked my housemate to go with me to find a salesman for me to buy a car. So we impatiently did. Technically I did.

And, Bammmmm!! Less than 2 weeks after that, I got myself a Brand New Saga FLX from Proton - National Car Manufacturer of Malaysia ( photo above ). The car understands me well, give me enough power for my aggressive way of driving, optimum fuel economy and is spacious for my odds and ends. Well now I can say - I am an independent boy, ( not yet 21 to be called a MAN ) who pays for his own car, his own laundry and basic needs.

P/S: What did you have at your age of 20?

Have you ever felt that everything was right?

A weird nice feeling came over me tonight. It's a wonderful, yet rare feeling that not everyone gets to be in its engulfment. When you feel that the sky is so beautifully blue, the birds sings unexpectedly pleasant, the air is too fresh to not to breath in, the ground appeals you to step and walk on it, when you never want to care about what has happened or what's going to, and even a tiny blow of the wind can make you feel very good about yourself, then you'll know. You are actually IN LOVE...

Being in love is sometimes hurtful, but when you really find the extract of a little happiness in it, it outnumbered every hardships, suffering and heartbroken you have ever actually felt for loving somebody.

Since this blog of mine is about loving, I would be really glad to tell my beloved Lover that I LOVE YOU. I simply do. And I hope that in any possibilities or chances that it might happen, you feel the same way too. Which I think I know you do. "You're all I need my love, my valentine".

I love you for loving me.

I can tell that I’m in love.

Exam paper passed this morning, after me and my buddies were struggling quite hard for it. Later, on a somber evening, they were all gone. Some were at hometowns, while the rest were going out, loosening up the tense over the exam questions. But all I was doing was staying alone in my room, waiting for a phone call from someone I really want to hear a voice from. Right, waiting. My friends were hanging out, having fun, but not me, not this time. It was not really ‘me’ who I have known. Previous ‘me’ would never stay alone in an empty house. I would have gone out with some friends, seeking fun, draining all the joys I can find in life and finding things to kill the annoying time with. Trust me, it was just a short while ago.

Now I’d rather be spending time alone, waiting for my special one to call me, even when it led me to no where, that my phone was not even ringing. I was laughing at myself, that I look to my phone for so many times, annoyingly often, expecting sounds from it. Who would do that? Every five seconds, I would press a button; that I would be lighted on and there would be a message or missed calls from ‘you know who’. The crazy things I did, I did for so many times in a day. All because you know what.

------Now, if ‘you’ are reading this, you would know how dangerously in love I am with you. I know maybe it’s not even something big to be loved by just merely a regular guy like me. But I am outrageously grateful to love somebody like you.
I’m in love, and ALWAYS will be.------

P/S

Love You Sayang.

I Love My Grandpa...

Long ago, my late grandmother married someone younger than my late father after my grandfather died, and he died before I was born. Meanwhile, my mother’s parents died even long before that. So, the only grandfather that I have ever had was my young step-grandfather. He was about my late father’s age and there used to be times when I used to call him ‘Uncle‘. He had this Chinese look and was a very decent middle-aged man. He was not my grandfather by blood, but what reminds me a lot about him is that he did never treat me like an outsider, although I was only a step-grandson. He pampered me and kissed me a lot when I was little. Sometimes I hate it when my family tells me that he was not my real grandfather, because he was to me.

As time was trying to grow me up, my late grandmother was getting sick and she died about two years ago. I didn’t have the time to be in her funeral, as it was on my final examination week and that I regret the most up until know. I wanted to be with my grandfather, to lend him my shoulder, but I did not. I was really embarrassed by that, as I should have been there for him. I am truly sorry for neglecting you Grandpa.

Tragically, the story about my grandfather stops there. The last time I even met him was way before my grandmother died. Few months ago, my father died. I have lost a man in my life, an important one. Now, I started to realize the fact that I have lost my grandpa too, the only grandfather I have ever known. I don’t even know where he lives now. I still remember what he said to me, “I really love you, and I will never forget you, my grandson.” Yes, that was what he said to me. It is still clear in my mind, every words and how it sounded like. I hope he still remember me, as I miss him a lot. One day, I will look for you grandpa, I want to grasp your hands and tell you how much I love you, because you are my one and only GRANDPA.. I love you and I miss you.